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In typical bureaucratic fashion, Utah has added more layers to its already fatally flawed do-not e-mail scheme to try and avoid divulging any more children’s e-mail addresses.

And in a breathtaking display of denial, the Department of Commerce’s head bureaucrat claimed the department leaked four children’s addresses recently because officials were “set up.”

The department last month provided to the E-mail Sender and Provider Coalition copies of citations it served to four companies for violating its so-called child-protection do-not-e-mail registry and failed to redact the children’s e-mail addresses.

As a result, from now on two to four people within the division will review every public-records request to make sure sensitive information is protected, Utah’s Department of Commerce Director Francine Giani reportedly told the Salt Lake Tribune.

Marketers and others have been arguing for two years that do-not-e-mail schemes are dangerous. According to the Tribune, Utah’s Giani said the addresses were divulged because the state was “set up.”

Set up? Ah yes, the old “request-public-records” ploy. Those wily ESPC guys have really pulled one out of their collective sleeve this time. Imagine the ESPC’s executive director, Trevor Hughes, hatching a phone-call scheme to embarrass Utah.

The scene: Hughes, pacing the room feverishly, scheming with his director of legal affairs, Justin Weiss.

Hughes [speaking in his best British-villain accent]: Justin, we must find a way to demonstrate how vulnerable Utah’s do-not-e-mail registry is to attacks.

Weiss: But how, sir? We can’t hack the system, and we can’t use the registry’s obvious flaws to get kids’ addresses. Both would be illegal and unethical.

Hughes: [rubbing hands together, eyes gleaming maniacally]: Wait a minute! I’ve got it!

Weiss: Got what, sir?

Hughes [purring]: A plan. A simple and beautiful plan. We’ll call them on the phone.

Weiss: The phone, sir?

Hughes: Yes, you nitwit! The phone! Don’t you see? It’s foolproof. You’ll call Utah and ask for copies of the citations. Some bumbling bureaucrat will most assuredly give you the addresses. Now run along, Justin, and make that call. Soon, all will bow to my brilliance and it will be just a matter of time before I complete my evil plan. First the Utah Department of Commerce. Tomorrow … THE WORLD!! Muwahahahahahahahaha!!!

Meanwhile, the best quote of the year award goes to Matthew Prince, the president of Unspam, the company that runs Utah’s do-not-e-mail registry.

“Even if ordered by a court or held at gunpoint, there is no feasible way that I, any Unspam employee, or any state official could provide you even a single address that has been submitted for compliance by any sender,” Prince said in an affidavit.

Apparently, we didn’t need a gun, just a telephone.