In Utah, the Sheriff of Doodyville Takes on the World

Are Utah's government officials evil or just stupid? That question comes to mind every time the state's so-called child-protection do-not e-mail registry takes a new twist.

The most recent mind-boggler was an announcement that the state had cited four companies alleging they'd sent e-mail touting gambling, alcohol and pornography to children.

Utah's consumer protection agency reportedly fined:

• DOS Media Now, an Encinitas, CA online gambling firm, $5,000.

• Golden Arch Casinos, Overland Park, KS, $2,500.

• SoftestGirls.com, a Singapore-based pornographer, $20,000.

• Smoothbeer.com, a United Kingdom-based beer marketer, $2,500.

First, it's a safe bet SoftestGirls.com isn't fishing through its bank account for $20,000 to balance Utah's books. Moreover, that Utah has fined a U.K. beer site sends a message straight out of legislative bizarroland — this state thinks it can police the world of even the most superficially offensive stuff.

Utah's kids' no-e-mail law requires marketers that want to include anything in e-mail which is illegal for children to view or buy to pay to have their lists scrubbed of the names on the state's registry once a month. When the registry was launched, officials were pretty clear it was aimed at content we can all agree we don't want our kids anywhere near. And in fact, Utah's first prosecution indicated it was going after the Internet's most offensive pornographers.

The state issued a $2,500 citation last January against Canadian pornography Web site HoneyI[blanked]TheBabySitter.com. Granted, it was a pointless exercise. Utah has no jurisdiction over HoneyI[blanked]TheBabySitter.com, the state has yet to collect the fine and the Web site was still up as of this writing.

But mainstream marketers could at least take small comfort in the idea that Utah was training its sites on pornographic spam.

Now, however, Utah has gone after a British beer site for allegedly sending a single e-mail to an address on its registry.

By citing Smoothbeer.com, the state is implying that every e-mailer in the world that sends content relating to products or services that minors aren't allowed to view or buy in Utah risks getting cited if they don't pay to scrub their files against its do-not-e-mail registry. The gall of these people is breathtaking.

When asked how Utah possibly can enforce its registry law against companies outside its jurisdiction, Paul Murphy, a spokesman for Utah Attorney General Mark Shurtleff, said: “If they're truly a company that's trying to obey the law, they'll want to obey this law as well. …There's something to be said about corporate citizenship. It just depends on if they want to be a legitimate business or not.”

Corporate citizenship? On the Internet? Does this guy have an e-mail account?

It's as if Howdy Doody found a sheriff's badge in his Cracker Jack box and decided it gave him the authority to clean the Internet of anything jarring to the residents of Doodyville.

The only companies using Utah's registry are those that want to be good “corporate citizens” already. And they are, by definition, not the problem. As a result, Utah is shaking down law-abiding companies while doing nothing to solve the problem of pornographic spam.

As of this writing, Utah judge Dale Kimball had set a hearing for Nov. 9 on porn group Free Speech Coalition's request for an injunction halting enforcement of the state's registry and Utah's petition to have the group's lawsuit dismissed.

Here's hoping Judge Kimball recognizes Utah's registry law as the obscene government overreach that it is and takes Howdy Doody's badge away.