Loose Cannon: Captive Audience, Captive Marketers

Earlier this year, guerrilla marketing agency Interference Inc. placed small digital displays of cartoon characters throughout several jumpy, post-9/11 American cities. In Boston, local officials were so alarmed that they closed down the city and called out the bomb squad.

After an explanation from Turner Broadcasting (it was a promotion for "Aqua Teen Hunger Force," a Cartoon Network show) and a $2 million payment to the city of Boston, most questions behind the disruption have been answered. Right?

Wrong. Because Boston prosecutors are still threatening to jail every Interference Inc. they can get their hands on – and the agency couldn't be happier about it. Why? Because within a year Interference Inc. anticipates shifting its corporate mission and changing its name to Incarceration Inc.

The new company will focus on direct marketing – specifically DR television – aimed at the U.S. prison population. Every jailed executive will help the new company's street cred. In fact, the new company's mission statement is "For those inside, from those inside."

I recently visited an Interference Inc. spokesman in Massachusetts' Walpole State Prison. He agreed to speak with me, but only if I referred to him by his prison number – 6655321 – in print.

As we faced each other through thick glass, 6655321 outlined Incarceration Inc.'s business plan. While the new company will offer a few prisoner-focused mailing lists ("Tracking change of address is a snap! Aside from to and from solitary, these guys aren’t moving around that much.') the main focus will be a closed-circuit television shopping channel, tentatively named "Jailhouse Rack."

6655321 described it as "A QVC for the 25-to-50 market."

"That's the age range?" I asked.

"That's the average sentence. If it does well we're going to start a women's correctional institution-only channel called 'Jailhouse Frock' and build out on the brand."

"How is designing direct response TV spots aimed at prisoners different from those targeting the rest of the population?" I asked.

"First, it's ALL going to be direct response," 6655321 said. "It's not like viewers are going to be walking out to a store "We're a little bit more flexible with the wording," 6655321 replied. "These will probably be the only spots you'll ever hear where the call to action is 'Have your – or somebody else's – credit card ready so you can order now!'"

"What sorts of things will you be offering to your longer-term prospects?"

6655321 rolled his eyes. "You've got a 30-year old serving for a triple burn. The first thing we're gonna sell him is an AARP membership – 'cause when get gets paroled, he's gonna want those discounts."

"Will there be a loyalty program?"

"Don't need one," 6655321 said with a grin. "Where the hell else are they going to go?"

"You've given this a lot of thought," I said. "Any concerns about how your plan might go off track?"

"Only one worry, man," he said. "If our lawyer cops a plea to a lesser charge, we could lose millions. It was hard enough to get arrested in the first place – we had to hit a dozen cities. Who would have thought New Yorkers would be so blasé?"

To respond to this column, please contact richard.levey@penton.com