Sony Vaio Ad Is Too Far Out

Just a few issues ago, my subject was an ad for the Sony Cyber-shot digital camera (The Makeover Maven, July). This time it's an ad for the Sony Vaio T-300 Series notebook computer.

To readers who may think I'm picking on Sony by doing two makeovers of its ads in less than a year, don't worry about Sony. It would be about as troubling to the company (if anyone there knew) as a fruit fly buzzing around the ears of a dinosaur.

I am singling this ad out for analysis because it provides such a good example of the importance of not pushing aside news, benefits and clarity in an effort to be amusing.

The ad photos may not be very clear due to their reduced size. But here's what you should be able to see: In Sony's ad, the top half of the page is taken up with a dramatic photograph: A white car is stranded on a dark and lonely road. In the foreground, we see just the hands of a guy using a notebook computer. Behind the car, arms folded, his girlfriend waits disgustedly.

So what the heck is going on? Pale white capital letters at the top of the photo provide clues:

E-Mapfinder.com

E-Couplescounseling.com

Get it? He's lost and is using his notebook to try to figure out where they are and how to get where they're going; she's mad as hell at him because he'd insisted he knew the way. (And refused to ask anybody?)

Somewhere between the picture and the body copy is a pale headline, “Wireless Beyond Hotspots, At Last.” Putting two and two and two together, the reader is supposed to figure out that our hero is rescuing them from being lost because he can access an online map service like MapQuest with his wireless notebook even though he's far away from a hot spot to connect him.

Admittedly, this could be one use of a wireless computer. But it's far from the most likely situation and the most likely benefit. Instead, why not picture a situation that a much more likely prospect — a hard-pressed business executive — could identify with? And why not integrate this with a more newsy, conversational announcement headline? Why not play up the news instead of playing it down? And why not identify the product model in type bigger and bolder than a 5-point light face?

When I started roaming through the vast wilderness of Sony's site (where, as too often is the case, it was hard to find anything at all about the advertised product), I stumbled on the answer to my makeover need.

It was a photo and message very similar in spirit to the one in the print ad, and probably part of a whole series of ads in a current campaign. But this one came much closer to attracting and making an emotional connection with likely prospects.

We see the bow of a cabin cruiser floating on a beautiful mountain lake. Just out of camera range is the Sony notebook user, his feet propped up on the dashboard. And in very small white letters at the top we read, “While You Were Out, Nobody Knew You Were Out.”

I felt this was a good starting point but that it needed some tweaking. First of all, it may seem picky of me, but I felt the word “nobody” went too far. Nobody? In the whole office? Just because he's sending and answering e-mail from a distant location? So I substituted a more deliberately ambiguous word (“they”) and changed the wording to “While You're Here, They Won't Know You're Not There.”

Next I developed a headline that would work with the picture while expressing the news with utmost clarity: “Now You Can Really Get Away From It All — Even From Hot Spots.” I announced and clearly and legibly identified the product in the boldface first line of the copy. (Too much of a mouthful to incorporate it in my headline.) Then somewhere in Sony's online jungle I found a free 30-day Cingular Wireless WAN service trial and decided to include it. This may seem like a pretty small enticement on such a large ($2,200-plus) purchase. Still, an offer is an offer, and usually better than no offer at all when it comes to stimulating response.

Naturally, I displayed Sony's Internet address more visibly than in the original ad. But once again, it seems the ad agency or department didn't talk to the Webmaster about coordinating the print ad with the site content. So if you go to sony.com/vaio2 you may not be able to find anything at all about the T-300 Series notebook being advertised.

Would it have been so difficult to set up a separate landing page just for this product and this ad? Then the reader could find the desired information instantly — and Sony could record the source and number of responses.

When will they ever learn? When will this ever change? Apparently, in big companies, the answer is not till the ocean freezes over.

---

THOMAS L. COLLINS (thomas.l.collins@verizon.net) has been a direct marketing copywriter, admaker, agency creative director and co-author of four books on marketing. He is currently an independent creative and marketing consultant based in Portland, OR.