Stupid Sales Pitch Watch: Psst… Wanna Buy a Domain?

A spam e-mail arrived in my inbox last week from someone calling himself Robert Chandler offering the domain AffluentConsumers.com for sale for—get this—$25,000 to buy it outright or $250 per month for rent.

“It is an ideal Domain and Website Address for those offering Lists of ‘affluent consumers’ to product and service businesses,” said the pitch.

So I went to WhoIs.org did a few searches, found that WealthyConsumers.com was available, bought it—or so I thought—and sent Chandler a reply e-mail offering the domain for sale using his message’s exact wording except for replacing his name with mine and the domain AffluentConsumers.com with WealthyConsumers.com.

Not surprisingly, I didn’t hear back from Chandler.

I then sent him an e-mail offering him WealthyConsumers.com for half price. However, in checking my e-mail inbox I found that I had failed to respond to a user-agreement message and that the domain wasn’t yet mine. When I tried to complete the purchase, a warning message said something was blocking the transaction.

So I did a WhoIs search on WealthyConsumers.com and found it is now owned by, drum roll please, the wily Robert Chandler.

Drat. Foiled again, I thought.

However, another few WhoIs searches revealed that MegaRichConsumers.com was available. I bought it—made sure to agree to the terms and conditions this time—and sent an e-mail to Chandler offering to sell it to him in his own exact words for $25,000 or $250 a month for rent.

He didn’t respond.

So here’s the deal: If there is anyone out there even thinking about buying one of Chandler’s domains, I’m offering MegaRichConsumers.com for sale at a far lower price.

The first person who offers me a box of San Cristobal Monumento cigars and a liter of Belvedere vodka gets MegaRichConsumers.com. Depending on where the cigars are purchased, that’s about $250.

However, for those who don’t want to spend even $250 on a domain offering lists of rich people who are loose with their money, the following domains were available as of last night: VeryWealthyConsumers.com, VeryAffluentConsumers.com, AffluentAndStupid.com, PeopleWithMoreMoneyThanBrains.com, PeopleWhoPoopBucks.com, PeopleWhoCrapCash.com and ThirdGenerationBlueBloodInbredIdiots.com.

Sadly, PeopleWhoFartMoney.com was not available.