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SO…DO YOU LIKE THOSE hoops? Shine 'em up a lot, do ya? Stroke them when no one is looking and coo in a raspy voice “Preeeeecious?”

Seriously, a lot of you out there must love hoops, because you make your customers jump through enough of them to be loyal to your brand.

Think about it. How much work is it for your customers to participate in any loyalty- or relationship-building programs your company operates? I'm curious, because as I wrote in this column way back in August 2005 (“Oh Bother!”), I'm lazy.

And I'm not the only one. Consumers today are more time-crunched and marketing-overloaded than ever. If they want to show their loyalty to a certain brand and get a fish biscuit for their feat, it sometimes requires extraordinary measures. And maybe that's the point: Programs like these help companies discover who their superfans are — those willing to go that extra mile.

But it still doesn't mean it's a bit annoying to have to work so hard to show your love.

Take my supermarket, Shaw's — please. I have no problem with Shaw's as a market to shop at, and I don't mind handing over my keychain so they can swipe my card to give me 50 cents off cat treats or $1 off a bag of potatoes. (I like potatoes.)

What does drive me bonkers is the programs they constantly run, offering $20 off a purchase or a free turkey after you spend $300, $400 or whatever. It's not that I don't like discounts — its that I can't for the life of me remember to save the register receipts in the appointed envelope, and get the envelope stamped every time I shop. And for the love of Mrs. Butterworth, I think I'm supposed to be saving some of those register printout coupons to show how many points I have.

Wait. That may be for yet another promotion. Huh? I gotta do what? I buy $75 worth of Pop-Tarts and Coke and I get a free DVD?

Forget about it. I'll buy my own turkey and DVD and clean out all these scraps of paper littering the bottom of my purse.

Speaking of Coca-Cola, has anyone else visited MyCokeRewards.com? Ninety-nine percent of the copy you see my byline on — especially in the fall when we're in our busy season — is written in a Diet Coke with Lime-infused state. Of course, since my husband gets tired of peeling me off the ceiling when he gets home from work, I limit my consumption to one 12-pack a week.

After months of ignoring the CokeRewards offers on the box, I decided to give it a go. Maybe there were great wonders in store for me if only I took the time to type in the codes. Plus, all the cool kids must be doing it — on the day I'm writing this, the site informed me that 906,273 rewards had been given to date.

I registered and learned that I'd get 10 points for every 12-pack I bought. Sweet! That'd probably get me some really swanky swag! Look, 16 points would get me a…ringtone. I was underwhelmed. For 25, I'd get a free small popcorn at AMC Theaters, if I bought a Coke drink. OK, that was a little better. Oooh…for 10,000 points, I could get free movies for a year at AMC. Great deal…except that anyone who drinks 10,000 points worth of soda is going to be spending their time in the bathroom, not the theater.

There were some midrange rewards that were a little more realistic, like magazine subscriptions for 60 or so points. But again, too much work. I'll buy my own magazines, thanks.

At Coke's site I realized, of course, that I'm not the prime target audience. Its sights are set on much younger soda drinkers who have the time to enter and keep track of points.

However, Snip-its is a different story. This business is a hair salon for children, so paying customers are harried moms and dads who feel they've accomplished something if everyone leaves the house wearing pants in the morning.

Snip-its has a loyalty program where you get a free haircut after every eight haircuts you pay for. To get the free styling you need to bring your purple Snip-its card with you each time your child gets shorn and get it punched.

I'm proud to say I've managed to do this every time my son has gotten his hair cut in the past two and a half years. We've earned two or three free cuts. The last time I we were there, I mentioned to the woman I actually had to run back in the house to get the card before I left home. “Oh yeah, most people forget them,” she said.

Gee, then isn't there a better way? It's great to have a discount program, but make it easy for your customers to use. Every time we visit Snip-its, they look us up in the computer. I'm guessing they're keeping track of how many times we visit, so how about automatically giving out the freebies when they're earned? That would be a nice surprise to any mom or dad.

I saw the brighter side of this at Sears. Recently I bought a shirt for my son there. The clerk asked me if I was part of their kids' program, where you get some sort of discount or coupon after you spend X number of dollars. No, I said. What do I have to do to sign up?

Nothing, she said. Since my husband had already purchased a lawn mower there on the same credit card, our family was already in the computer. When we earned our discount it would be printed out instantly on a register receipt, ready for us to use.

Now that's what I'm talking about!