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AS AN OBSERVER OF THE direct marketing world, I often have experiences where I slap my head and say, “Yea! They get it!” There also are times when I shake my head sadly and say, “They just don't get it.” And then there are the occasions when I cock that very same head and think “Well… close.”

I had the chance to do all these things in the space of one day recently. And boy, was my head tired.

In the morning, I called Chase to straighten out a problem with one of my credit accounts. It was resolved fairly quickly, and I was impressed…until they went for the upsell.

“Wait, Ms. Viveiros. Are you still a homeowner?”

Yes, but what does that have to do with my credit card?

“Well, Chase has a line of blah blah home credit blah blah mortgage blah blah loan blah blah something something…”

I really don't…I just wanted to fix this problem so I could pay my bill…

“I'm going to transfer you over so you can talk to a specialist…”

No! Wait! I don't have time for this today!

“You don't?” (Sizable sound of shock in voice.)

No, I'm sorry, I don't.

Instead of leaving me with the impression that they have a crack customer service department that can handle a problem quickly, the call left me (a) annoyed and (b) remembering the time Chase bought out one of my credit card accounts from another bank and immediately started bombarding me daily with e-mail offers (I quickly opted out).

Faring much better on the credit card marketing/CRM front was American Express. While I didn't apply for the Rewards Plus Gold Card, I did notice a very predominant message on the opening page of the letter sent to me. The message told recipients they could opt out of prescreened credit offers from Amex and other companies by calling a toll-free number, and explained where else in the letter they could find more info about opting out.

Hooray! Consumers are always complaining about receiving too much of the wrong type of mail. Let these people know up front you don't want to contact them if they don't want to hear from you. The good will does all of us a benefit.

Another item in that day's mail showed you can be CRM savvy, no matter how big or small your business. I tend to order a lot of hard-to-find or out-of-print CDs and books from small resellers on Amazon and eBay. Typically, those items arrive with nary a packing slip. If there's a problem, I have to go trolling back through my e-mail and figure out who to contact.

This day, a CD arrived from Caiman.com. The item arrived less than three days after I had ordered it, and the packing slip (yea!) included a friendly note thanking me for my business and offering an e-mail address I could use if there was anything wrong with disc.

At dinner that night (I'm always thinking about you, gentle reader, even when I'm noshing on scallion pancakes), I noticed that the Chinese food carton featured the TLC “Life Lessons” campaign.

If you haven't seen this campaign, go to http://tlc.discovery.com and check it out. It's brilliant. The effort plays on the learning aspect of the cable network, and illustrates some important lessons through collectibles that resemble Hummels or Precious Moments figurines. And the lessons? Priceless, timeless advice like “Merlot and e-mail don't mix” (with a woman chugging from a bottle while slumped over a computer) and “Children will repeat every single thing you say” (precocious little girl with bullhorn).

The lesson on the food carton? “If you're going to pass this off as your own cooking, hide the container.” On the other side, an ad for a new series, “Take Home Chef.”

But…where's the URL on the carton? The campaign is so engaging, it's puzzling that TLC skipped the next obvious step to draw in Web site traffic — and ultimately, program viewers. They even sell the figurines, something I didn't know until I clicked on the link to the Discovery Channel Store site.

The site itself is fab. In addition to a link to buy the figurines, visitors can view videos of other folks relating their own lessons (“Never go food shopping when you're hungry — and pregnant”); listen to podcasts; send e-cards; do puzzles; and oh, yeah, this is a TV network, so learn about new programs.

Here's a lesson for you, TLC: Promote your site. It's good enough, it's smart enough, and doggone it, I like it.